Tuesday, November 4, 2008
defining love....
Dude what is love???
I asked this question to one of my room mate who for the past 5 years has been dating* a girl - who of course is his girlfriend….
*dating = can’t find a suitable word for someone being in love & yet to get married in our Indian context
thereafter I have asked this question then to most other people also… be it my other room mates …CA articles working on the same project as I am…my project manager, PwC colleagues etc etc… just to find an answer to this question I have been dwelling upon for some time now…what love really means & how is that it should be defined?
For the past 1 year I have been watching some of my friends and others who have got engaged…how life changes for them and how they affect others lives… all but a strange experience…. life seems to be unidirectional for them…
Relax… no complaints for all of U who are in love… love matters…no one better than me to understand that …though m writing the blog…
But then I started thinking on this ‘love’ word and tried to get answers to it… I got some interesting responses which I thought should be put down to get a non dictionary meaning of love…
Rummie 1 (who is in love) defines- ‘love is a situation wherein u don’t get seduced by the hottest chick that may be around you & you still continue to think of your beloved’
Ok. I agree with this definition. But this guy was just surfing Bharat Matrimony site alongwith my other rummie & trying to find who is the hottest on bloc ... though I don’t mean he is not in love … (our other aspects of locating the hottest one are purposefully kept under secret)
Rummie 2 (desperately trying to find a match for himself on Bharat Matrimony… that too at 12 am and avoiding my question feeling m not feeling sleepy & that is why such questions) says…‘love cant be defined … it is very unstructured & you never know how n when it happens’ …. (nice way to get away !!!)
on some serious stuff…
I queried our articles as I knew I would be getting some good response (U can query articles only… CA Institute gets pride when u post queries and not those simple questions to its students)
Article 1 (female… u know the rule -ladies first) defines—
· when in love one feels secured/ one is sure of himself or herself
· we accept a person first for what he is and then we have the freedom to say for what we feel he or she should change to better himself
· when in love, you want to be with that person for all the time
· love is trust
Article 2 (male) thoughtfully defines—
· love is the willingness to compromise one’s self
· love is all about compatibility & trust
truly… CA articles always add more value to our thought process…
Colleague 1(who is getting married soon -he is a telugu & his fiancee is a guju) says- ‘there is nothing called as true love…marriages to some extent are a compromise… I may go around watching other girls but then my fiancée knows that at the end of the day I shall come back to her…’
hard one to digest but a I feel it to be a realistic view…
Colleague 2 (he messaged me his response) – defines love as a situation wherein U love someone more than yourself…
Further as I ponder on this ‘love definition’ my senior added some more twist to the definition & I faced one more thought provoking question… are love marriages better than arranged marriage?
Actually I had pondered on this question sometime back and asked one of my Bengali female friend on this question. She got married a few months back and her marriage was an arranged one --
as I was sipping my coffee and chatting with her on the messenger …I asked her—
what is that she is feeling after getting married to someone who was a stranger to her sometime back and that now after getting him known after being with him for a while? Does she really feel to be in love and does the guy whom she thought was to be like is like as per her thoughts and would her love last the same way over life as it does now??
She had a simple response… yes definitely I am in love… more that what I thought to be and found my spouse to be more interesting than what I had thought of… may be the romance would end but not the love !!!!
Good one…but she believes that she married him only because the guy belonged to her caste and then had no answer to my next question- what if her spouse was not a Bengali and then he would have been the same person??
In short Love also sees what caste n religion u belong to… n I tend to agree to this point…
So what is love is after all???
time for me to try n define the same …
I believe love to be a feeling of belongingness… the thought that someone cares for U…that someone understands U … has all the faith in u… it is all the fight that u may have but then it is also the sacrifice U can make to see the other happy… it makes u feel happy but then can cause lot of pain as well…
I guess I have added nothing different from all the views I could get …but then I feel none of the definitions to be the complete…love, a small word with a huge meaning!!
PS: I know some of my friends will have this definite question of why is that I thought to blog on this topic…where is that I got the idea??
Well then my answer would be… I really don’t know…probably working throughout makes U miss most of the people u have cared about…
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Vishal Ganshyam Jadhav
Why I am writing it?
I have seen most people complain for something or the other (including me), be it job, money, family, love etc. We occupy so much in these thoughts that we forget about the life we are living. Believe me there are many things that we need and be thankful for not have suffered to.
Why it all struck me?
As I have written, we always have something or the other to complain about. Even I complain (perhaps a lot). I happen to meet someone called Vishal Ganshyam Jadhav, who shared a practical example for me to think on how one can be positive inspite of all the other adversities. I thought of sharing it with all of you, as an example as well as with a purpose to bring out the life of Vishal, who till date has not been recognized how wonderfully he has led his life. I wish people like me who are around him and who read this text show more respect for him and for all what he has done in his life till date.
About Vishal-
Vishal is an office boy at Arcil and I happen to meet him at my recent engagement of due diligence there. Vishal was not able recollect his birthdate but was confident that he is 24 years old.
The Story-
I have been watching this Vishal for a couple of days now. He has a healthy physique (meaning a good blown belly) and looked a typical office boy in his uniform. He alongwith Srini and Thushar, was allotted the file organizing work. Each time I saw him he was involved in inserting papers in the proper files with Srini trying his own in his innovative hindi cum andhritie marathi to teach him how to do it.
As I sat at my chair listening him speak in marathi, I asked him- kya dost Maharashtrian ho?
Came back a reply… yes sir.
As opened my laptop and started working on my case Vishal asked me…sir tumchya laptop chi kiti kimat aahe? (meaning how much my laptop cost?)
watching my hired company laptop…I answered- yaar mera to 20k ka andar ka hoga par chaho to 100k bhi milta hai (don’t know y I need to mention a Rs.1 lac cost to someone who might not ever imagined that…might be trying to impress that I know more than you).
Hearing my answer Vishal said nothing and went back to his usual filing work.
Just to continue further, I asked Vishal- aur sir kya chal raha hai?? Kaam kaisa lag raha hai??? (although I knew he was doing not more than a shit work I just wanted Vishal to speak up)
But then don’t know how the topic went on… but the next fact that I got to know was that Vishal lost his parents some 8 years ago and he & his brother stayed together. Vishal continued to speak…
Sir, I lost my parents sometime back in the year 2000. Then I used to stay at Santacruz but which I had to sell for Rs.4.5L because of the trouble provided to me by my nephew, who used to beat us both so that we could leave the place. I sold the place at Santacruz without my nephews knowledge and borrowed 1 more lac to buy a flat at Nalasopara. Now we stay there.
What a daring?? A guy who barely today is of 24 years today sold his house to buy one after taking a loan. And now he is earning to to repay the same. Sitting at Arcil and looking at the NPL’s portfolio, I can imagine what would happen to its business if everyone take some thought from Vishal on repaying the loans on time.
Sir, my brother is studying, Vishal continued. He is learning something relating to the computers (about the course he has no idea). Some days before I saw him crying because he wanted to use friend’s laptop but was not allowed to touch it by his parents. I have decided to buy it for him and that is why I asked you the price of it.
I continued to look at him. How can some people be so ambitious? Now could I understand the seriousness of his simple question at the beginning of our conversation about my laptop.
He continued speak further… sir, there is no one for me apart from my brother to care for… I want him to learn more. I have already saved enough and I have earned about Rs 25k this Ganapati season by working as a decorator late night after my usual office hours and working on Sundays as sweeper for BMC (for which he earns Rs. 350 a day) I hope I can buy my brother a laptop like u have…(one more shock for me !!)
I dont think he considered my Rs 1 lac laptop seriously…but I am sure he even would have got that thing for his brother…
Sir, Vishal said, my brother once was very sick with malaria….I spent all my earnings I had and was left nothing but to pray for. Saying this, Vishal broke into tears…it all got too emotional… I could say nothing but to control himself…
I prayed (to a one of the South Indian diety on which Vishal now has now developed utmost faith) for my brothers well being and took a oath… first year I shall pierce my mouth through pins (he showed me the marks on his face)…second year I shall pull a car holding the rope in my mouth… (I cant recollect what he said for the third year…but going by the first two years, the third year also had some wild thing to do be done)
All of this was really a shocker…to understand life from a guy who apparently studied not more than his matriculation and whom we have made work to file papers in files because we have assumed him of that ability and not more… but then he is filing papers for people most of whom have defaulted in life….
PS: Soon Vishal is getting married to someone he was wedded in his childhood. The girl has apparently studied more than what Vishal has…Vishal before getting married had asked the girl whether she would be interested in marrying him…if not he is ok…but happily the girl has committed herself to him and soon will be settling with him…
I have seen most people complain for something or the other (including me), be it job, money, family, love etc. We occupy so much in these thoughts that we forget about the life we are living. Believe me there are many things that we need and be thankful for not have suffered to.
Why it all struck me?
As I have written, we always have something or the other to complain about. Even I complain (perhaps a lot). I happen to meet someone called Vishal Ganshyam Jadhav, who shared a practical example for me to think on how one can be positive inspite of all the other adversities. I thought of sharing it with all of you, as an example as well as with a purpose to bring out the life of Vishal, who till date has not been recognized how wonderfully he has led his life. I wish people like me who are around him and who read this text show more respect for him and for all what he has done in his life till date.
About Vishal-
Vishal is an office boy at Arcil and I happen to meet him at my recent engagement of due diligence there. Vishal was not able recollect his birthdate but was confident that he is 24 years old.
The Story-
I have been watching this Vishal for a couple of days now. He has a healthy physique (meaning a good blown belly) and looked a typical office boy in his uniform. He alongwith Srini and Thushar, was allotted the file organizing work. Each time I saw him he was involved in inserting papers in the proper files with Srini trying his own in his innovative hindi cum andhritie marathi to teach him how to do it.
As I sat at my chair listening him speak in marathi, I asked him- kya dost Maharashtrian ho?
Came back a reply… yes sir.
As opened my laptop and started working on my case Vishal asked me…sir tumchya laptop chi kiti kimat aahe? (meaning how much my laptop cost?)
watching my hired company laptop…I answered- yaar mera to 20k ka andar ka hoga par chaho to 100k bhi milta hai (don’t know y I need to mention a Rs.1 lac cost to someone who might not ever imagined that…might be trying to impress that I know more than you).
Hearing my answer Vishal said nothing and went back to his usual filing work.
Just to continue further, I asked Vishal- aur sir kya chal raha hai?? Kaam kaisa lag raha hai??? (although I knew he was doing not more than a shit work I just wanted Vishal to speak up)
But then don’t know how the topic went on… but the next fact that I got to know was that Vishal lost his parents some 8 years ago and he & his brother stayed together. Vishal continued to speak…
Sir, I lost my parents sometime back in the year 2000. Then I used to stay at Santacruz but which I had to sell for Rs.4.5L because of the trouble provided to me by my nephew, who used to beat us both so that we could leave the place. I sold the place at Santacruz without my nephews knowledge and borrowed 1 more lac to buy a flat at Nalasopara. Now we stay there.
What a daring?? A guy who barely today is of 24 years today sold his house to buy one after taking a loan. And now he is earning to to repay the same. Sitting at Arcil and looking at the NPL’s portfolio, I can imagine what would happen to its business if everyone take some thought from Vishal on repaying the loans on time.
Sir, my brother is studying, Vishal continued. He is learning something relating to the computers (about the course he has no idea). Some days before I saw him crying because he wanted to use friend’s laptop but was not allowed to touch it by his parents. I have decided to buy it for him and that is why I asked you the price of it.
I continued to look at him. How can some people be so ambitious? Now could I understand the seriousness of his simple question at the beginning of our conversation about my laptop.
He continued speak further… sir, there is no one for me apart from my brother to care for… I want him to learn more. I have already saved enough and I have earned about Rs 25k this Ganapati season by working as a decorator late night after my usual office hours and working on Sundays as sweeper for BMC (for which he earns Rs. 350 a day) I hope I can buy my brother a laptop like u have…(one more shock for me !!)
I dont think he considered my Rs 1 lac laptop seriously…but I am sure he even would have got that thing for his brother…
Sir, Vishal said, my brother once was very sick with malaria….I spent all my earnings I had and was left nothing but to pray for. Saying this, Vishal broke into tears…it all got too emotional… I could say nothing but to control himself…
I prayed (to a one of the South Indian diety on which Vishal now has now developed utmost faith) for my brothers well being and took a oath… first year I shall pierce my mouth through pins (he showed me the marks on his face)…second year I shall pull a car holding the rope in my mouth… (I cant recollect what he said for the third year…but going by the first two years, the third year also had some wild thing to do be done)
All of this was really a shocker…to understand life from a guy who apparently studied not more than his matriculation and whom we have made work to file papers in files because we have assumed him of that ability and not more… but then he is filing papers for people most of whom have defaulted in life….
PS: Soon Vishal is getting married to someone he was wedded in his childhood. The girl has apparently studied more than what Vishal has…Vishal before getting married had asked the girl whether she would be interested in marrying him…if not he is ok…but happily the girl has committed herself to him and soon will be settling with him…
Saturday, August 23, 2008
first date with condom
Buying a condom, I think has to be the first litmus test for a guy to have sex. It’s the first hurdle that people need to cross to have satisfy their basic instinct (Sharon Stone remembered). At least that is what we seem to have learned over the years watching ads of Nirodh condom on DD. ‘Apni Suraksha Apne Haath’ may seem to be a good punch line to be read but it takes a lot of guts to buy one condom packet. That is what I realized when I had to buy one….
I happened to be at Baroda for a friends weeding (one of my rommmie in Bombay). Nine of us went to the marriage. This bunch included 2 gals also (life gets very boring without them)….
Dunno how did I landed up in this task when some of my other eager friends always did such tasks….it was me in Huja (Mr. AA Ahuja) who decided to get up this important thing for our friend…
Our test started with both of us trying to find ways to avoid this chick called Swati from coming along with us. We had planned to move away from the wedding site citing the reason of having coffee outside but did not knew our sweet friend Swati also had intentions to have this coffee along with us. Thanks to the rain gods that we could avoid her towards our pursuit to get the condom…
The walk to the medical store did not seem to end and that too in the rains of Baroda with all the dirt on the streets getting on to our trousers & we at one time feeling that Baroda people are very healthy so they don’t require any medicine to get out of illness… a half hour walk taking us to our destination…
Buying condom…
We landed at the wrong time at the store as we saw an aunty outside the store buying some medicine…we decided to move forward to find a stall serving bhurji…which both… me & Huja could not resist to avoid…and then we were at the medical store to get our desired thing…
At the store…
Its probably like appearing for CAAT entrance exam before joining the IIM’s….people fear the entrance more, forget the main exam… Huja taking up the task of asking for the condom. We never imagined that it is a mere commodity for the store keeper and we should ask it to him keeping that in mind. Huja with all his courage moved on to the store keeper…2-3 people seemed in the store…with Huja daring to ask the most elderly of them in the store… ‘chachha condom….’
With Huja’s question I turned my face towards earth…dunno what I was thinking at that moment but felt all the 3 guys in the store were observing us both and might even be thinking what these guys are upto...wearing good clothes, buying condom they seem to have a pleasurable evening ahead…
To our surprise the store keeper asked us…… which flavour????
It was like facing a bouncer when we were expecting a straight one…for a moment huja seemed to have fazed at the chachaa’s question…but he gained his confidence in a moment to say ‘koi bhi do chachaa’!!!
Comes a googlee from the Chachaa…and he tries to sell an entire ‘family pack’ sort of condom pack to us (Durex to be specific) ….n we are here asking to give anything not more than a sachet that could be easily slipped into our friends pockets in the rush of marriage… chachaa showing us some more of his condom packets and we looking more at the cover with nudity at its extreme on them…n trying to get the smallest pack apart from looking at what goes on to make a condom or at its price for that matter..
We got the desired sachet containing 3 condoms and we moved on from the medical store with our mission accomplished….sach mein buying a condom requires some guts !!!!
I happened to be at Baroda for a friends weeding (one of my rommmie in Bombay). Nine of us went to the marriage. This bunch included 2 gals also (life gets very boring without them)….
Dunno how did I landed up in this task when some of my other eager friends always did such tasks….it was me in Huja (Mr. AA Ahuja) who decided to get up this important thing for our friend…
Our test started with both of us trying to find ways to avoid this chick called Swati from coming along with us. We had planned to move away from the wedding site citing the reason of having coffee outside but did not knew our sweet friend Swati also had intentions to have this coffee along with us. Thanks to the rain gods that we could avoid her towards our pursuit to get the condom…
The walk to the medical store did not seem to end and that too in the rains of Baroda with all the dirt on the streets getting on to our trousers & we at one time feeling that Baroda people are very healthy so they don’t require any medicine to get out of illness… a half hour walk taking us to our destination…
Buying condom…
We landed at the wrong time at the store as we saw an aunty outside the store buying some medicine…we decided to move forward to find a stall serving bhurji…which both… me & Huja could not resist to avoid…and then we were at the medical store to get our desired thing…
At the store…
Its probably like appearing for CAAT entrance exam before joining the IIM’s….people fear the entrance more, forget the main exam… Huja taking up the task of asking for the condom. We never imagined that it is a mere commodity for the store keeper and we should ask it to him keeping that in mind. Huja with all his courage moved on to the store keeper…2-3 people seemed in the store…with Huja daring to ask the most elderly of them in the store… ‘chachha condom….’
With Huja’s question I turned my face towards earth…dunno what I was thinking at that moment but felt all the 3 guys in the store were observing us both and might even be thinking what these guys are upto...wearing good clothes, buying condom they seem to have a pleasurable evening ahead…
To our surprise the store keeper asked us…… which flavour????
It was like facing a bouncer when we were expecting a straight one…for a moment huja seemed to have fazed at the chachaa’s question…but he gained his confidence in a moment to say ‘koi bhi do chachaa’!!!
Comes a googlee from the Chachaa…and he tries to sell an entire ‘family pack’ sort of condom pack to us (Durex to be specific) ….n we are here asking to give anything not more than a sachet that could be easily slipped into our friends pockets in the rush of marriage… chachaa showing us some more of his condom packets and we looking more at the cover with nudity at its extreme on them…n trying to get the smallest pack apart from looking at what goes on to make a condom or at its price for that matter..
We got the desired sachet containing 3 condoms and we moved on from the medical store with our mission accomplished….sach mein buying a condom requires some guts !!!!
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